


Hedgehog's dilemma

by princessfart



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, raven boys
Genre: Gen, trigger warning depression, trigger warning suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4242846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessfart/pseuds/princessfart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan Lynch finds himself in Cabeswater with Blue Sargent, there seems to be no away out, except a bargain that must be made and a friend to gain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hedgehog's dilemma

 

 

> I wanna hurry home to you
> 
> Put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up
> 
> So you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
> 
> God I'm very, very frightening, I'll overdo it
> 
> -The National, Slow Show.
> 
>  

Ronan Lynch was a man made of sharp edges and strong desires.

When he was small he liked to think about himself as a town, full of streetlights and houses, apartments and fast cars, the trees growing at the edges of the streets.

If he did that nowadays, he would mostly think of a desolated town, something like the set of a noir movie, more than anything else.

Ronan was now, as almost an adult, full of shadows and thorns, he likened himself more as an angry wolf than the puppy he had been as a child.

It was hard to be around the others, in general, it was nearly impossible to be around the boys, the family he found on the wild, hiding this sadness from Gansey was nearly impossible, as he knew every step Ronan could probably take and would certainly command him away from sadness at force, probably.

 

Sitting on the pig, just the two of them alone, meant he had to hide a lot whole of sadness, the uncertainty of future around the corner of their path was something he avoided at all costs.

It was easier with Noah, he knew and he said nothing about it, he could forget what he was going through.

With Adam it was similiar, he was a whole other body of things they had no idea how to deal with, a man who loved ideas and seemed fueled by them, he couldn´t even start to talk about how much he envied some parts of Ronan, the parts that survived and fought the wars, Ronan found himself burning flags but not doing much to survive them, but Adam was a whole other thing, if he had gone through shit, the ammounts Adam had lived through were incomparable.

When Adam laid his hand next to his, he found himself next to a man who could survive a war next to the one that probably started it, a man that seeked sleep in every corner int he world and found none, next to his hand, that belonged to a body that could not dare to close it´s eyes without feeling absolute pain.

 

He found himself running away from the boys, from his dreams, from the trees that spoke nonsense and whispered into his dreams.

 

The only person he could bear to face was Blue Sargent.

She came into their universe and kicked up the start engine, he could not help but admire the tiny hurricane that threw him right up into the middle of the ocean but stayed with them as a boat, Ronan didn´t like to even think about this, knowing Gansey he could probably read his mind, but the only thing that kept them up together was Blue.

 

Ronan had a tendency to run away when people got too close to him, feeling Adam´s breath on his neck was enough to send him down into the ground, seing Gansey´s eyes, full of optimism and the future, those things were enough to bury him back into the dark places he frequented inside his mind.

Blue was far away enough to be comfortable with him, he felt a familiriaty he could not name, amongst the moments of cold she would get close enough to provide the warmth needed to survive, but would not stay when the sun came out, it was an instinct she had as well, Ronan wondered when he drove at night if Blue felt the same way inside, whatever was going on inside of her was a complete mystery to him, but compared to the way he knew what every single glance from the boys meant, this was a comfort he didn´t have before.

However, he didn´t know what to do when he found himself alone with Blue in Monmouth, Adam and Gansey were off working in the pig, Noah was nowhere to be seen, Ronan was in a shitty mood but yet Blue stayed in, she served him a slice of pizza and sat in the farest possible corner of the coach, in the other corner stood Chainsaw, both girls kept their eyes perched up on him, as if they could read his mind and know the dangerous thoughts that haunted him when he was alone in that big, dusty house.

He heard a faint “Ronan” coming from Blue, she was crawled up in the coach, all small , soft corners, she looked like a very wise child sitting there with a blanket perched up in her shoulders and her knowing eyes looking straight at him.

“Ronan, are you ok?” This time her voice came off stronger, more like the Blue that existed in his mind.

“Yeah i´m just...” he couldn´t help it when his voice cracked up and his hand shoot straight to his cheek, he held his head as if it was going to fall off at any time.

 

Blue moved from her comfy corner to Ronan´s wooden chair, next to an open window, cold wind coming on between them. 

She stood in front of him with the blanket in her hands, her hands were shaking from the wind that came outside.

Ronan had no idea what he was supposed to do, if he was supposed to take the blanket or just wait to see what was going to happen next.

They stood that way for a while, without saying anything.

 

Blue always took Ronan as a strong, rude presence, but she respected him, sometimes she would glance at him and realize he was picking up his confidence, picking up his pieces from wherever it was that he left them behind, probably the floor, or looked at him and saw those sharp eyes working up on what he was going to do next, Ronan was a soldier, but she couldn´t help to think that maybe he needed someone to fight for him for a while, she was certainly sure she could, however, it was a mystery if he wanted her help.

He took the blanket from her hands, softly, with a lot of care, and put it up on his shoulders, at first he looked around in confusion, but then he found her eyes and smiled.

 


End file.
